Category: Uncategorized

Danny Kahneman is a funny scientist, and a flair for comedy isn’t a trait people often associate with scientists, but Dr Kahneman is very funny. He is also a super-nova among the rock stars of research in positive psychology. A Nobel Prize-winning psychologist at Princeton University, Dr. Kahneman gave a very entertaining presentation on human well-being at a recent TED Talk in California (www.ted.org). His work is captivating and continues to inform what we’re learning about happiness.

Some of the most fascinating aspects of his work are about problems in the study of positive psychology that he calls “cognitive traps,” and as a result of this pursuit, Dr. Kahneman is poised to continue to lead significant research in this galaxy. Here’s what I mean.

Dr. Kahneman’s focus has become the problems associated with what he calls the “Experiencing Self” and the “Remembering Self.” The conflict between these Selves is immediately evident when he begins to describe the problems they give researchers in measuring happiness. The story he uses for illustration is from a man’s bad memory of a beautiful symphony. The man writes about this gorgeous symphony that he listens to from an impeccable recording that is literally transporting—lyrically and technically perfect—until the end when there’s this “dreadful screeching” at the end of the performance. The man tells Dr. Kahneman, “That horrible ending ruined the whole experience.”

No, it didn’t, asserts Kahneman. The bad ending sounds pretty miserable, but in truth, it didn’t ruin the whole experience as the man had said. He admitted that the symphony was brilliant, that he’d felt moved by the beauty of that music. Dr. Kahneman suggests that this becomes an enormous cognitive trap for social scientists. Often, a subject perceives the experience differently: the  “Experiencing Self” really enjoys the beautiful symphony, but the“Remembering Self” has his/her enjoyment soured by the bad ending. This conflict is very real and even mystifying at times to researchers who might be happier themselves if human expressions of happiness were easier to categorize.

Dr. Kahneman’s studies “show that what you remember of an experience is particularly influenced by the emotional high and low points and by how it ends” (Wallis, 2005). Measurable levels of happiness can be confused between “experiencing” and “remembering”: If a researcher could randomly ask people during a European vacation to rate their level of happiness, she might catch them complaining about slow service at a restaurant or, at another time, complaining about the price of some souvenir, but if she asks when it’s over, “How was your trip?,” they’ll answer based on the peak moments and how they felt at the end of the trip. The “Experiencing Self” defers to the “Remembering Self” when a person considers and expresses happiness or dissatisfaction. Knowing this, Kahneman asserts that the real benefit for social scientists in studying happiness is to pay attention to how people describe their actual experiences rather than waiting to hear their reflections.

Is this particularly funny? Well, no. The nuts and bolts of the scientific implications aren’t that funny, but watch Dr. Kahneman’s TED Talk. I’ll let him tell you about The Colonoscopy Studies.

Love Y’all,

Doctor Mell

——————-

Kahneman, D (2010) TED Talks. http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/daniel_kahneman_the_riddle_of_experience_vs_memory.htmlwww.ted.com/daniel.

Wallis, C (2005). The new science of happiness. TIME, 9 Jan http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/daniel_kahneman_the_riddle_of_experience_vs_memory.html

Here’s Part Five. Enhance your happiness now by incorporating one of the five strategies into your life today. Even if it’s a simple, easy start—it is a start—and it’ll make a big change.

The Back Story

Two years ago, research psychologists compiled data gathered from a national study in Great Britain focused on improving human well-being and mental capital into the 21^st century, and the “Foresight Programme” [http://www.bis.gov.uk/foresight] was published. Results from the study collect under five headings for “Here’s How to Activate Happiness” in your life: Connect, Get Active, Take Notice, Keep Learning and Give.

Part Five: Give

Research confirms that happiness depends on your ability to Give. The most gratified people approaching and over 50—people who express the greatest amount of personal happiness, the most satisfaction in their relationships and interactions in the wider world—are people who Give.

Respondents who rated themselves as happy also report a greater interest in helping other people (Lyubomirsky et al, 2005). Across all age groups, people express value in giving of their time, compassion and talents, making themselves happier and affirming their virtue. Particularly for older adults and retirees, however, giving and sharing are important to their sense of purpose and significance within their communities. Evidence shows that giving seems to have such a significant impact on adults and retirees that active volunteering can improve a person’s positive mood and demeanor, add more meaning to someone’s life and measurably reduce mortality rates (Huppert, 2008). Amazing.

People quote parables and stories from folklore, mythologies and religious texts that demonstrate the values of sacrifice and selflessness. Imagine that to Give—to do something nice for a friend or stranger, to thank someone, to volunteer in your community or just to share a smile—will enhance the quality of your life and extend it at the same time.

I know this for sure: I want to live with a greater level of awareness, looking for ways that I can give and give more. I hope you’ve enjoyed this five-part series as much as I have and that you’ll take a step closer to happiness today by starting one new habit from the Five Simple Strategies

All the Best to You Always,

Doctor Mell

——————-

Huppert F (2008). Psychological well-being: evidence regarding its causes and its consequences (London: Foresight Mental Capital and Wellbeing Project).

Lyubomirsky S, Sheldon KM, Schkade D (2005). Pursuing happiness: The architecture of sustainable change. Review of General Psychology 9: 111-131.

Did You Enjoy Part Five: Give? Then, Please Don’t Miss Parts One-Four. Thanks!

Here’s Installment Four in this five-part series. I hope you enjoy it.

In 2008, Great Britain undertook a nationally sponsored research project focused on improving and maximizing human well-being and mental capital into the 21^st century.  This compelling and comprehensive research was gathered and reported for the “Foresight Programme” [http://www.bis.gov.uk/foresight], and the evidence collects under five headings for “Here’s How to Activate Happiness” in your life: Connect, Get Active, Take Notice, Keep Learning and Give. Armed with this critical data squeezed down into manageable chunks of information, you can improve your own well-being and enhance your mental capital.

Part Four: Keep Learning

Research confirms that happiness depends on your ability to Keep Learning. The most gratified people approaching and over 50—people who express the greatest amount of personal happiness, the most satisfaction in their relationships and interactions in the wider world—are the people who strive to Keep Learning.

Some respondents told researchers that they are involved in formal learning through their employer, local college or community center. They regularly attend face-to-face and online learning events to expand their technical knowledge and/or skills or to study a language, ethnic group or culture that has always intrigued them. Other participants in the study learn in more informal settings: visiting local attractions like museums, organic farms and orchards, and their public library; or saving their money to travel across the country or abroad. Adults who Keep Learning are happier, enjoy more satisfying engagement in social interactions, and live more active lives (Feinstein et al, 2008).

These study results affirm for me what I was privileged to witness time and time again during my teaching experience at the college level: learning new things is fun and builds self-esteem. I taught at a large, rural community college in Alabama for 20 years, where the average age of our students was 28. Many 40-plus year olds spoke candidly to me about feeling intimidated to enter a classroom for the first time with 18 year olds who’d just graduated from high school and were, they assumed, “fresh and well-prepared for difficult, college-level work.” Those same 40-somethings reflected on those useless feelings of fear when they crowed proudly, “I ended up with the highest GPA in my math class. I worked hard, and they goofed, and I showed them all!” They smiled as they shared stories about fun learning activities led by innovative instructors who challenged them. They learned a renewed sense of personal power, affirmed their own abilities, and came away with a pledge to remain lifelong learners. I saw it over and over as our students transformed their lives. Learning can create and affirm happiness, build skills and confidence, and sustain intellectual curiosity and growth into old age.

Whether your time has limits or you have all the time in the world, you can engage in learning right now that adds to your knowledge base or pushes you and your skills set in a completely new and challenging direction. Find the time and get started now. You’ll be happy that you did.

Your Friend in Lifelong Learning,

Doctor Mell

——————-

Feinstein L, Vorhaus J, Sabates R (2008). Learning through life challenge report (London: Foresight Mental Capital and Wellbeing Project, 2008), p. 20.

Stay Tuned for Part Five: Give

Here it is: the third installment in this five-part series. Enjoy!

Introduction

An extensive study on happiness has uncovered clear and simple strategies that happy people put to work in their lives, allowing them to experience more moments of daily joy and more lasting fulfillment throughout their lives. This compelling research on human well-being was gathered and reported in a recent project in Great Britain for the “Foresight Programme” [http://www.bis.gov.uk/foresight]. The evidence collects under five headings for “Here’s How to Activate Happiness” in your life: Connect, Get Active, Take Notice, Keep Learning and Give.

Part Three: Take Notice

Happiness depends on your ability to Take Notice. This concept is the most thought-provoking of the five to me because the heart of it reaches way beyond the clichés like “Stop and Smell the Roses” that we’ve used to define it.

Taking Notice means savoring the feelings and sensations of your Here-and-Now. Evidence shows that happy people pay attention to and live in active awareness of The Present. Humans experience the greatest level of happiness by living “in the moment,” paying attention to the people, places and things around them and, in reflection, considering their value and meaning to them personally.

Research confirms that self-awareness and authentic change go hand-in-hand. What this means is that happy people who live with abundant joy and deep fulfillment aren’t immune to trials and tribulation; they just make deliberate, sometimes moment-to-moment choices to stay focused on the positive and what’s affirming and wonderful about their lives. Now, try to resist another cliché: “Oh, they’re good at turning lemons into lemonade.” Synthesizing pain and moving forward isn’t anything like stirring up a fruity drink, that’s for sure. Thoughtful, deeply contented people who live essentially joyous lives take notice of the world and what they’re feeling and, using their intense self-knowledge, choose to appreciate what matters to them.

If you’re captivated by this strategy as I am, you may enjoy delving in a little deeper. Let me encourage you to read about mindfulness and its role in positive psychology in Martin Seligman’s book Authentic Happiness or Tal Ben-Shahar’s book Happier.

Striving to Be Present,

Doctor Mell

Stay Tuned: Next Blog is Part Four: Keep Learning

Here’s the second installment in this five-part series: Enjoy!

Part Two: Get Active

There’s something sexy to me about substantive, expansive research that can be condensed and communicated into pure and simple terms. My experience is that people are searching for proof and personal truth, asking themselves “What works and how can it apply to my life?” Some of the most compelling research on human well-being was gathered and reported in a recent project in Great Britain for the “Foresight Programme” [http://www.bis.gov.uk/foresight]. The evidence collects under five headings for “Here’s How to Activate Happiness” in your life: Connect, Get Active, Take Notice, Keep Learning and Give.

Happiness depends on your willingness to Get Active. Across all age groups, people who are physically active are happier, are more confident and have less age-related cognitive decline than people who aren’t. So, you read that last bit, and it’s beginning to sink in, right? If you’re approaching or over 50, you can get out of your chair right now, and with less strenuous exercise than you may dread while you’re sitting there, you can feel better and delay age-related cognitive decline.

Research confirms that, while you might not dramatically shift depression symptoms into the cure column, you can improve your mood and general state of consciousness with as little as “single bouts of exercise of less than 10 minutes” (Acevedo 2006). Go for a walk, step outside, ride your bike, or work in your garden. There’s clear evidence that you can create more happiness each day and more of a sense of deep fulfillment in your life by moving your body on a regular basis and improving your physical fitness.

Discover physical activities that you enjoy and mobilize. It’s true that researchers have yet to determine whether exercising improves human well-being or that humans who are happy people get regular exercise. Does it matter? Without question, there’s a direct correlation between happiness and physical exertion, so stop reading this, get up and Get Active!

Much Happiness,

Doctor Mell

_________

Acevedo EO, E. P. (2006). Psycho-biology of physical activity. (Champaign, IL: Human Kinetics).

Stay Tuned: Next Blog is Part Three: Take Notice

You can choose activities to create greater happiness and richer life experiences based on quantitative and qualitative evidence. You can. When you think you’ve heard or read too much woo-woo about how you can have more daily joy and lasting fulfillment, shift your focus and soak up some science. It’s here, you see. Researchers have measured and verified the ways that happy people create joy and meaning in their lives, and like “the whole truth and nothing but the truth,” these Five Strategies are so pure and simple.

Some of the most compelling research on human well-being was gathered and reported in a research project in Great Britain for the “Foresight Programme” [http://www.bis.gov.uk/foresight]. In summary, the evidence collects under five headings for “Here’s How to Activate Happiness” in your life: Connect, Get Active, Take Notice, Keep Learning and Give.

Part One: Connect

Happiness depends on CONNECTING. Across all ages, people have a greater degree of well-being if their lifestyles promote and nurture social relationships. Positive psychologists and life coaches encourage their clients to connect to family, colleagues and neighbors and to consider these relationships as the cornerstones of their lives, investing quality and quantity time in developing their connections to other people. Evidence shows that healthy social relationships can fundamentally serve as buffers against challenges to our mental health. This seems particularly relevant to me as an advocate for healthy living for people approaching and over 50. As we age and grapple with challenges to our physical, emotional and mental health, we can be heartened and strengthened by the love and support from the relationships we’ve built in love, at work and at play.

I found it interesting that they explored the different qualities of life that were enhanced by relationships that could be defined as “strong” or “broad.” Let me explain the distinction. Researchers describe strong social relationships as ones that are supportive, encouraging and meaningful. Happy people typically have a small group of loved ones with whom they have a deep and lasting bond, calling this group their core network. Broad social relationships with a greater number of people may provide happy people with a vast number of connections, but these relationships may not be close and may lack depth. Still, broad social connections are important for feelings of belongingness and for a greater sense of self-worth. Ideally, I think a happy person has C, all of the above.

To be happy, you connect to people for love, validation and motivation, building strong relationships for support and comfort and broad relationships for friendship and affirmation.

Beautiful.

Doctor Mell

Stay Tuned: Next Blog is Part Two: Get Active

Early into 2011, I’m still focused on the power of introspection to uncover, discover and experience happiness. Yes, I know it’s February, and many people have already forgotten their heartfelt resolve from the New Year, but I’m still exploring the Why and How of value-driven change. Come to think of it: I’m always exploring change.

Keeping and reviewing a personal journal is just one strategy to discover unrealized dreams, and it’s one of the best. Another approach is one developed by Martha Beck, celebrated life coach and published writer who is a regular contributor at www.oprah.com. Now, for my purposes in exploring unrealized dreams, my aim is to tackle Dr. Beck’s “Lifeline” from a positive frame of reference.

Dr. Beck describes her “Lifeline” strategy in a recent article that she wrote for Oprah Magazine under the title “Eight Steps to Conquer the Beast Within,” and it is part of a feature on “Martha Beck’s Plan to Conquer Depression” http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Martha-Becks-Plan-to-Conquer-Depression-Pain-and-Addiction .While I admire Dr. Beck’s philosophy, practice and even her unique and terribly funny writing style, I’d like to encourage you to read the article and approach the “Eight Steps” by focusing on the positive, most spirit-lifting, most personally informative outcomes.

It’s easy.

Complete steps 1 through 5 as you are directed, but stop and siphon through Step 6 with a more targeted emphasis on exploring the questions and answers from Part B, which provides these instructions: “Now, answer the five questions above in regard to the times when your ‘bad habit, illness or disorder’ was least bothersome.” In this way, you are spending your energy in this exercise and gaining insights from it from a positive standpoint. In answering the first five questions only as a Part B exercise, you re-create the physical and emotional circumstances from your past during which you were the happiest: “Where were you living when you were at your happiest?, Where were you working?, What did you do on a typical day?, With whom did you spend time?, and What did you believe?”

Do you understand now why, when you sculpt the exercise from a positive viewpoint, the answers become as powerful as a chronicle of journal entries from your past? In your answers to Part B, you’re revealing to yourself a great deal of the What, Where, and With Whom that provided the greatest amount of happiness for you in your past, and I think it’s a potentially powerful way to uncover some dreams that you had that flourished during a time when you were at your very best.

When you were happiest, what were your most heartfelt dreams? Are those dreams real to you now?

Yours truly,

Doctor Mell

Please allow me to veer away from my most recent thread to acknowledge the passing of Reynolds Price this week. He died in Durham, North Carolina, survived by his brother. He was 77.

Reynolds Price is one of the most significant writers in modern Southern fiction. His obituary in The New York Times this week celebrated his unique Southern voice–his ability to convey the strength and poignant courage of “ordinary people in rural North Carolina struggling to find their place in the world.” He was a gifted storyteller, a legacy from cousins, aunts and uncles who provided a circle of love and entertainment in his poor but relatively stable upbringing. Other than the brief time he studied as a scholar at Oxford in England, he spent his entire life in North Carolina, and he inspired many writers, as Eudora Welty and others had inspired him, to explore and revere their Southernness and their native sensibility to conjure up the best expression of themselves and the region that made them.

Once when he was asked to reflect on his connection to the South and its resonance in his writing, he said:  “I’m the world’s authority on this place. It’s the place about which I have perfect pitch.”

Mr. Price corrected people when they spoke to him about William Faulkner and their perception of Faulkner’s influence on his work, and he named Eudora Welty as his true artistic mentor. Still, his physical and spiritual connection to the Deep South reminds me of a story that I learned in graduate school about Faulkner and another great 20^th-century writer, Nathaniel West.

Faulkner found himself uninspired, bereft and homesick in Hollywood during a time when he, West and others were pursuing steady screenwriting jobs that provided a living wage. Faulkner felt he had lost his soul in the pursuit of a reliable income, and he asked West, “What should I do? I can’t stay here and work for The Movies,” and West replied, “Go home and write from your own back yard.” Luckily for Faulkner and literature, he took West’s compelling advice.

Reynolds Price lived this great advice instinctively. His work reflects the essence of that thoughtful direction. He told amazing stories about the people of his region and their surroundings and culture with depth and sensitivity and, well, genius.

Let me personally recommend both Kate Vaiden and Roxanna Slade to you if you’ve never read Reynolds Price. These two works are not necessarily his most famous pieces, but I remain awe-struck by his ability to capture the voice, heart and soul of a woman as a male writer. What a tremendous gift.

Rest in Peace, Reynolds Price. You were a true, noble and deeply gifted Son of the South.

Doctor Mell

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/21/books/21price.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=reynolds%20price%20obit&st=cse

Reading and reflecting in my old journals has been such a rewarding exercise that I’ve resolved to make this review an annual event. So glad I did, you see? If you’ve just picked up this thread, let me encourage you to loop back to my last two blog entries, or if you’ve followed along, you remember that Oprah and her journal were my catalysts. That Oprah can light a fire, can’t she? I bit her bait, and having learned so much from following her example, I’m ready to schedule this exercise like an anniversary.

In the past, I’d keep a journal pretty consistently for a while, and then, I’d get distracted, get out of the habit of creating regular entries, and allow a big chunk of time to slip away before I’d pick it up again. When I would re-start, I’d typically read the last entry before I got started, searching without realizing that I was looking for recurring themes and some glimmer of personal growth. As I recall this, I also recall being disappointed many times when I was starting a new entry on an old, unresolved theme of relationship drama and pain.

Those rhythms are captured in the journals that I rounded up—from 1983 to the present—and the voice of that frazzled woman who is trying to articulate what’s going on within her and around her is both familiar and removed. I am she, and I am no longer.

The searching questions from a curious and often bewildered brain are the most familiar aspects of my old journals. The woman I was there and then was often at a loss to understand how little control that she had over her circumstances or the people close to her but seemed to be pushing back against the lack of peace and calm. She poses many questions asking, “Why is it…?”’ or “Why does he…?” and ends many entries with a wistful, open-ended statement like “I suppose that time will tell….” I spent my 20s and 30s regularly reeling from a lot of activity and unreasonable, unchecked emotional demands, trying to wield my personal power and choosing how I’d react to people and situations. Time and real emotional growth has removed me from that woman and her struggle, and from that, I have reason to be grateful and hopeful.

My personal power is healthy and well, exercised regularly and often as I insist on living my life on my own terms. I’m not perfect, but I’m so much better. My dreams have naturally shifted and changed as 25 became 35 and 40 became 50, but the dreams that drive my love of personal freedom and self-expression and self-determination are just as vivid and strong as they’ve ever been. Maybe stronger. I still dream of charting my own course without knowingly hurting anyone else, without making excuses or compromising who I am and what I truly want. I dream of achieving serenity, caring sweetly and respectfully for myself and others, too. I dream of getting better at relaxing and letting go.

Through this reflection, I’ll treat the woman I was with more reverence and warmth, and I’ll challenge the woman I’ll become to embrace the future happily and passionately. I have made incredibly impressive strides toward becoming My Best Self, I can tell you, and say to myself, with confidence: I am on my way!

So, thank you, Oprah. I’m so glad I did.

Doctor Mell

My last blog on Journals and a Search for Unrealized Dreams [Turbo-Charged Activity] kicked up some dust with several readers. Let me reassure you if you think you’re in the “This Doesn’t Apply to Me” category:  it’s never too late to start a journal. A couple of people who responded with something like “Oh, if only I’d started a journal a while ago. I don’t think I even kept my diary from junior high” don’t have to feel any real regret. You can start a journal right now.

Trust me: it’s not too late. Grab a notebook or place some loose paper in a file folder. Now, see? You have a journal, waiting for you to share what’s on your heart or in your head on paper. Now, what’s the complaint? You don’t know how to start? One year, I started a Gratitude Journal, and every night, I wrote five things that I’d considered or experienced that day for which I was grateful. Start there! Write down five things—don’t trip up on whether they seem important or not—just list or describe five things for which you feel grateful today. People put suggestions for journal prompts online all the time. Just start!

In the blog post, I revealed that I wanted to sit quietly and thoughtfully and read back through my journals to discover unrealized dreams, like Oprah and her network dreams from 1992. I found my journals stored in two different places, so the search itself wasn’t uncomplicated, and once I was in the midst of reading, I became convinced that the greatest reward from this task was to take my time and savor this reading. For one thing, my voice sounds agitated and afraid in many of the entries, a voice of a much younger Me trying to separate her true spirit from the frenzy of mothering and career life and pressures from graduate school and troubled students and, in too many instances, unnecessary and unwelcome drama.

There are entries that express the joys of mothering bright and energetic children and of wonderful travel-adventures and peaceful holidays, and those are fantastic and truly valuable, too. I’m just particularly interested in finding what lies beneath the harried voice of a woman who’s often “dancing as fast as she can.” She lived the extremes of happiness and despair at the most frenzied pace that I can imagine. What does she aspire to do or be that’s been left undone?

All the best!

Doctor Mell