In a recent publication on the topic of Living Long and Well*, one of the top health habits suggested to readers who want to blow out the birthday-cake candles on their 100th is to “be less neurotic.” Most of the article is based on exhaustive studies on aging conducted by Thomas Perls, a renowned research scientist at Boston University School of Medicine. The “be less neurotic” health habit is as useful to us in terms of improving our well-being and extending our lives as the time-worn tips that readers may gloss over—ones including: get more exercise, get more sleep, and eat less fat, sugar and salt.
Have doubts about the connection between “letting go” and living longer? Consider the results from a comprehensive new study on centenarians showing that they “tend not to internalize things or dwell on their troubles….They are great at rolling with the punches” (Perls, qtd in Kotz). Add this statistic to the results from many smaller studies that document the health effects of effective stress management in improving the quality and length of human life—practices including yoga, meditation, tai chi, or just deep breathing—and you have compelling science and a reason to find more ways to “let go.” Over-thinking or ruminating about the past and how and why things went wrong contributes to needless worry, saps your energy and spirit and shortens our lives.
Why not choose to dwell on self-compassion as a start? How about letting go of the negative way you treat yourself: focusing more on being kind to yourself and less on shaming and blaming yourself for bad choices? You’ll feel better right away and begin to extend your life and the sweetness of it, too.
Living longer with a greater sense of well-being on that sweet journey requires you to stop suffering for the sake of suffering and love yourself more. If you still have doubt, read Buddha’s Brain (Harmon & Mendius, 2009), an informative and thoughtful book that documents recent breakthroughs in brain research and explains the way to use prayer or meditations—call them directed exercises if that’s more comfortable—to help you use your mind to change your brain. This book isn’t doctrine or a recruiting tool for religion. Here’s a quote directly from the premise:
Jesus, Moses, the Buddha and other great teachers were born with brains built essentially like anyone else’s. Then they used their minds to change their brains in ways that changed history. With the new breakthroughs in neuroscience, combined with the insights from thousands of years of contemplative practice, you too can shape your own brain for greater happiness, love and wisdom. (Foreword)
If you’re a practicing Christian, Jew, Hindu or Muslim and want to “be less neurotic,” the directed exercises in Buddha’s Brain are adaptive to your prayer rituals, promoting a better, longer, more fruitful life and showing you mindful practice for self-enrichment and well-being.
In Buddhism suffering is the result of craving expressed through Three Poisons: greed, hatred and delusion. You suffer from your head and heart if you harbor any hate for yourself and fail to treat yourself with loving kindness. Self-compassion, not self-pity, simply means extending warmth, concern and good wishes to yourself as a natural response to suffering—your own ruminating, over-thinking suffering! Practicing meditation, prayer, yoga or tai chi are loving gestures that foster kindness and comfort and add more years to your life.
Your practice in “letting go” doesn’t need to be connected to any religion at all. You might simply follow the recommendation with scientific support to use meditation or pure relaxation time as time to free yourself of needless worry and pointless ruminating. Consider “being less neurotic” so that you take better care of yourself and add more years to your life and more life to your years.
With Loving Kindness,
Dr Mell
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Hanson, R & Mendius, R (2009). Buddha’s brain: The practical neuroscience of happiness, love, and wisdom. New Harbinger Publications.
Kotz, D (2009). “Eleven health habits that will help you live to 100.” U.S. News & World Report, 20 February. http://health.msn.com/healthy-living/11-health-habits-that-will-help-you-live-to-100
