The activity of professional coaching is based on making a connection: partnering with a trusted coach in the cultivation and celebration of cherished dreams. As a strengths-based coach in positive psychology, I connect with people who want to connect—and increase their well-being and experience more joy and more life satisfaction and feel fully alive. Humor me then and read along to explore how connecting—building relationships and fostering community–makes life richer.
Making genuine connections involves these two activities: building relationships and fostering community. They are very distinct: one builds relationships between people and fosters community among people. Together, they contribute to well-being by allowing us to feel love, empathy and a sense of belonging. Studies show that for most people who are 50-something and older the social interaction during exercise in a group class or on a walk with a buddy is as critical as the health benefit of the activity itself (Haupt). Connecting to others helps us feel bonded and safe and happier.
The most powerful tool that we have to measure your strengths and begin our work together in my practice is the VIA Character Survey*. Once we’ve had our first discussion about your goals for coaching and what you wish to accomplish from our work together, I will ask you to complete the VIA Survey and share the results with me. (There are 24 signature strengths that you’ll identify from your survey responses, yet I’ve found it most effective to work with clients on their Top Five.) Once we’ve discussed your survey results and determined the goals you’d like to achieve regarding Connecting, these are the signature strengths from the survey that are most critical: strengths of humanity—love, kindness and social intelligence; and strengths of justice—citizenship, fairness and leadership (Biswas-Diener & Dean). The VIA Survey is free; why don’t you click on the website and take it now? It only takes 15-20 minutes to take it and collect your results. http://www.authentichappiness.org
If you’ve taken the VIA Survey, you already know how powerful that single tool is in self-discovery and in moving you closer to enjoying rich connections in your life. Once we’re working together, I may also recommend two other instruments that help you explore Connecting: the Close Relationship Questionnaire and the Compassionate Love Scale (on the same UPenn website). In addition to your signature strengths, these two tools help you measure your values to attachment and your tendencies to support, help and understand other people.
Connecting is so critical to the human experience and an essential aspect of increasing well-being in your life. Depending on your goals and signature strengths, we can cultivate ways for you to feel deeper love, empathy and support in your relationships with family and friends and more connection with your community at work, near home or online. On your own or with a life coach, I hope you find the rich and wonderful relationships you seek.
With Loving Kindness,
Dr Mell
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Biswas-Diener, R & Dean, B (2007). Positive psychology coaching: Putting the science of happiness to work for your clients. Hoboken, NJ: Wiley & Sons.
Haupt, A (2011). “Eleven health habits that will help you live to 100.” http://health.msn.com/healthy-living/11-health-habits-that-will-help-you-live-to-100 qtd. from Kotz, D. 20 Feb 2009. U.S. News & World Report.
*VIA Character Survey at http://www.authentichappiness.org
