One of my favorite words—a word that speaks to me on a molecular level—is Freedom. F-r-e-e-d-o-m. There are so many layers of wonderful in that word that I don’t even know where to begin. Like almost everyone in the world, I value warm, authentic connections with other people, and the love from my big family and the precious friendships I enjoy are priceless to me. Still, I love my freedom and the occasional liberation from any obligation to anyone. Sometimes I honestly feel that I need freedom like I need oxygen.
Allow me now to connect the essence of freedom to positive psychology, my life’s mission, and my own desire to flourish.
Teaching and learning have given my life meaning and purpose. When I was a little girl, I loved school, and I ultimately became an educator so that I could be at school every day. “Back to School” time each fall still thrills me like Christmas. I love everything about it: the charged atmosphere among students, parents and teachers; the excitement and promise in uncharted realms of discovery; and the tools of the trade in a new school bag filled with multi-colored pens and pencils, a sharp pair of scissors, paper clips in various sizes, and now, technology for learning—don’t get me started!
I taught at the college level for 20 years until fibromyalgia (FMS) pain and fatigue sent me home. By the time I started my “health sabbatical,” a whole coterie of doctors and I had been battling FMS for more than a decade, and now, 16 years in, I’ve found positive psychology and, from it, the power to flourish and, with it, opportunities to reach out to others for a richer, more fulfilling way of life. Let me tell you about people who struggle with one form or another of chronic pain: they are the toughest people you could ever imagine. Bette Davis once said, “Aging is not for sissies,” but I can assure you that neither is an unrelenting battle against pain.
After twelve years of living with FMS, I couldn’t get to school anymore and had to face the loss of a career I cherished, an estrangement from my students and colleagues, and the uncertainty of my future with as much courage as I could muster. For someone who needs freedom like she needs oxygen, I worried that I could spend The Second Half of my life gasping for air, and my story is not unique. Other people living with FMS and other chronic pain share very similar stories about their lives and the losses that they feel they’ve endured because of it.
So, how did I get from loss to liberty? How does anyone accomplish that? From my experience, the best, most effective way is through the revelations of positive psychology. This new focus from imminent psychology researchers and practitioners on human well-being gives all of us—those who enjoy abundant health and those who don’t—the freedom to flourish. Positive psychology empowers my new mission and my ability to continue teaching and learning and public speaking and writing; my practice as The 50-Plus Life Coach is providing an exciting avenue for all of that. So, while we’re all respectfully listening to each others’ stories and the victories and defeats that are a part of every human life, let’s act on the best research and best practices that ensure human well-being and “walk the talk.”
I hereby seize the moment and my freedom to learn and share with others and flourish.
Yours truly,
Doctor Mell
