Let’s give a nod to connecting in this “Springtime for Lovers” and explore how positive relationships make us happier. What the World Needs Now is Love, Sweet Love.
Connecting to others is significant to a flourishing life. Period. Measurable science confirms this truth. Positive relationships are the R in Seligman’s PERMA formula for well-being (PERMA Online), and the ability to Connect scores among the top five factors in the landmark study on well-being conducted for the Foresight Programme (BIS/UK). “No person is an island…” tells us we’re all connected, so why not find more happiness here?
Cultivating new relationships or improving the ones you have presents ways to show how you can capitalize on your Signature Strengths to make your life richer. Glance at your Survey Results (VIA Strengths Survey) and look specifically for your strengths in two categories: Strengths of Humanity and Strengths of Justice. The two key phrases here are “between people” and “among people.”
Strengths of Humanity—the qualities that fortify relationships between people—are love, kindness and social intelligence. If you’ve identified these strengths from your VIA Results, notice where they fall among your top 24. You might work with your life coach to boost kindness to improve your work relationships by discussing the misperceptions with her that people have that only weak, ineffectual people show kindness at work. Study results and experience tell us that the strongest, most socially adept leaders at work model kindness as a way to communicate empathy for others and to build a more positive culture “among people.” Is this misperception a stumbling block for you?
The ability to build a positive culture among people is the bridge to Strengths of Justice. Citizenship, fairness and leadership are the three qualities that define these Signature Strengths. Creating a greater sense of fairness can improve your family dynamic, for instance. Consider ways you can address moral dilemmas your family faces. Moral dilemmas are opportunities to discuss short- and long-term consequences with your life coach, examining the choices that people make and the impact those choices potentially have. What is fair? What attitude and actions can you model that will foster justice and a sense of fairness among your family and make you feel happier?
Building positive relationships doesn’t have to be wildly complicated and can certainly be sources of comfort and joy. Once you’ve identified your Signature Strengths, you have the tools in-hand to begin new relationships and improve the ones you already count on. Think of how much better our lives and our world will be when we become expert at establishing trust, finding balance and sustaining mutual respect and understanding! We will create richer, happier relationships we have and hold and make a better world.
With All of My Love,
Dr Mell
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Foresight Programme. The Division of Business, Innovation and Skill. http://www.bis.gov.uk/foresight
Seligman, Martin E P. The Center for Positive Psychology. The University of Pennsylvania. www.authentichappiness.org.
VIA Character Survey at http://www.authentichappiness.org
