Need another reason to value “A Connection to Self”? Experts tell us that creating a flourishing life involves matching your virtues, strengths and values to real-world exercises that impact positive change. Statistically, you’re more likely to try a new approach and to like it and stick with it if you discover before you start whether that approach is a suitable fit for you.
I suspect that it’s a surprise to many people that there are actually activities that move you toward positive change—activities that result in measurable change. If you’re one of those people who has doubts, I challenge you to investigate this assertion for yourself. Many of the scientists who do research and practice in positive psychology are listed on my FAQ page (http://www.doctormell.com/doctor-Mell-FAQ.shtml), and many books, articles and videos produced by Martin Seligman, Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ben Tal-Sharar and others are both entertaining and enlightening. Contact me directly or follow links from my site; the science is real and fascinating. If you’re already convinced, you’ll enjoy Sheldon and Elliot’s Self-Concordance Model (1999) that is a careful and thorough investigation of the links between self-knowledge, goal attainment and subjective well-being.
Once all doubt has fallen away, I encourage you to get involved yourself, and the best instrument currently available is the “Person-Activity Fit Diagnostic” survey adapted from Sheldon (Lyubomirsky, pgs 74-6). The questionnaire has only 12 items, the instructions are simple and direct, and the range of responses indicate “Natural” (“I’ll keep doing this activity because it will feel ‘natural’ to me and I’ll be able to stick with it”) to “Situation” (“I’ll keep doing this activity because somebody else will want me to or because my situation will force me to”). Easy and informative: just 12 activities for you to consider that may or may not help you practice shifting from “okay” to “flourishing.” Take this simple survey—here’s why:
The rationale behind the Person-Activity Fit Diagnostic is that a particular happiness-increasing strategy will match you better if it feels natural to you and you are truly motivated to pursue it—that is, you want to do it because you value doing it and because you find it enjoyable NOT because you feel forced or pressured into doing it, out of either guilt or a desire to please (pg 77).
Naturally, there are other tools at your disposal, but this is such a direct and powerful approach to self-discovery. The more that you “Connect to Self”—the more you know your own desires, drive and motivation—the better you become at incorporating the right change that you’ll happily pursue as you move closer to realizing your life’s dreams. Think of it as a way of customizing your own pursuit of happiness.
With high hopes and best wishes,
Dr Mell
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Lyubomirsky S (2008). The how of happiness: A scientific approach to getting the life you want. New York: The Penguin Press.
Sheldon K and Elliot A (1999). Goal striving, need-satisfaction, and longitudinal wellbeing: The self-concordance model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76: 482-97.
