Thank you for the terrific response to my last blog on “Connecting.” After that posting, I’ve received several requests to share one of the best tools I’ve discovered for “Connecting to Self.” Think of the power in discovering your own motivations and fitting them in an actionable way to the quest to flourish.
I encourage you to pursue this fun and interesting discovery—the Person-Activity Fit Diagnostic—for connecting in real and dynamic ways to creating your best life.
Person-Activity Fit Diagnostic
Follow these simple instructions: Consider each of the twelve (12) happiness activities, reflecting on what it would be like to do it every week for several months. Then, rate each activity using the number range 1 through 7 using these terms: NATURAL, ENJOY, VALUE, GUILTY and SITUATION.
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People do things for many different reasons. Rate why you might keep doing this activity in terms of each of the following reasons, and use this scale:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
not at all somewhat very much
NATURAL: I’ll keep doing this activity because it will feel “natural” to me, and I’ll be able to stick with it.
ENJOY: I’ll keep doing this activity because I will enjoy doing it; I’ll find it to be interesting and challenging.
VALUE: I’ll keep doing this activity because I will value and identify with doing it; I’ll do it freely even when it’s not enjoyable.
GUILTY: I’ll keep doing this activity because I would feel ashamed, guilty or anxious if I didn’t do it; I’ll force myself.
SITUATION: I’ll keep doing this activity because somebody else will want me to or because my situation will force me to.
1. Expressing gratitude: Counting your blessings for what you have (either to a close other or privately, through contemplation or a journal) or conveying your gratitude and appreciation to one or more individuals whom you’ve never properly thanked.
___Natural ___Enjoy ___Value ___Guilty ___Situation
2. Cultivating optimism: Keeping a journal in which you imagine and write about the best possible future for yourself or practicing to look at the bright side of every situation.
___Natural ___Enjoy ___Value ___Guilty ___Situation
3. Avoiding over-thinking and social comparison: using strategies (such as distraction) to cut down on how often you dwell on your problems and compare yourself with others.
___Natural ___Enjoy ___Value ___Guilty ___Situation
4. Practicing acts of kindness: Doing good things for others, whether friends or strangers, either directly or anonymously, either spontaneously or planned.
___Natural ___Enjoy ___Value ___Guilty ___Situation
5. Nurturing relationships: Picking a relationship in need of strengthening and investing time and energy in healing, cultivating, affirming and enjoying it.
___Natural ___Enjoy ___Value ___Guilty ___Situation
6. Developing strategies for coping: Practicing ways to endure or surmount a recent stress, hardship or trauma.
___Natural ___Enjoy ___Value ___Guilty ___Situation
7. Learning to forgive: Keeping a journal or writing a letter in which you work on letting go of anger and resentment toward one or more individuals who have hurt or wronged you.
___Natural ___Enjoy ___Value ___Guilty ___Situation
8. Doing more activities that truly engage you: Increasing the number of experiences at home and work in which you “lose” yourself, which are challenging and absorbing.
___Natural ___Enjoy ___Value ___Guilty ___Situation
9. Savoring life’s joys: Paying close attention, taking delight and replaying life’s momentary pleasures and wonders, through thinking, writing, drawing or sharing with another.
___Natural ___Enjoy ___Value ___Guilty ___Situation
10. Committing to your goals: Picking one, two or three significant goals that are meaningful to you and devoting time and effort to pursuing them.
___Natural ___Enjoy ___Value ___Guilty ___Situation
11. Practicing religion and spirituality: Becoming more involved in your church, temple or mosque or reading and pondering spiritually themed books.
___Natural ___Enjoy ___Value ___Guilty ___Situation
12. Taking care of your body: Engaging in physical activity, meditating and smiling and laughing.
___Natural ___Enjoy ___Value ___Guilty ___Situation
Calculate Your “Fit” Score and Determine Your Top Four “Fit” Activities
Step 1: For each of the 12 activities, subtract the average of GUILTY and SITUATION ratings from the average of the NATURAL, ENJOY and VALUE ratings.
Here’s the equation:
FIT Score = (Natural+Enjoy+Value)/3 – (Guilty+Situation)/2
Step 2: To create your set of “Best-Fitting Activities,” write down the four activities with the highest FIT scores:
1) ____________________
2) ____________________
3) ____________________
4) ____________________
Date: ____________________
~excerpted from Lyubomirsky (2008)
I think you’ll find The Person-Fit Activity Diagnostic so user-friendly and so thoroughly fascinating—a real opportunity for eye-opening, personal insight. If you’re prompted to reach out, I look forward to hearing from you about your experience completing and using the Person-Fit Activity Diagnostic. Yes, there are other tools at your disposal, but this is such a direct and easy approach to self-discovery. Think of it as a way of customizing your own pursuit of happiness.
Looking Within and Forward,
Dr Mell
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Lyubomirsky, S (2008). The how of happiness: A scientific approach to getting the life you want. New York: Penguin Press. pgs 74-6.
