Every time I have proofed something for my blog over the last several weeks, that’s what I hear when I read through it: “Yadda, yadda, buh buh buh. Nothing, nothing…nothing really here.” This is some of the most frustrated I have ever felt in my life, and my uncharacteristic reactions have really surprised me–like the disappearance of verve and my voice in my writing. In the past when I was upset, I could write with energy and focus, but this glitch is something brand-new.

My Mother died at the end of this summer. Her death wasn’t unexpected, for Heaven’s sake: she’d already conquered colon cancer in 2001 before being diagnosed with breast cancer about five years ago, in 2006. Still, all of the clichéd maxims about death and dying and love and loss continue to ring true: “No matter how much you think you’re prepared for a loved one’s death, you’re not.” I think the problem is in the word think here anyway.

Coming to terms with Mother’s death hasn’t had much to do with thinking. It’s had everything to do with feeling. I feel sad and miss her terribly, and no matter what I try to write, I feel like I start reading it back to myself to listen for content and clarity, and all I’m writing is “Yadda, yadda, buh buh buh.” As long as I’ve been distracted by activity, I think I’ve coped pretty well. I haven’t been depressed, and I was sitting alone with her when she died. Let me assure you: watching someone leave this world is surreal, but I think I’ve been busy with pleasing, productive activities, and I’ve done pretty well. Now, writing about it—or writing about much of anything else—has not gone well. Processing Mom’s death and moving on with joy and purpose has felt like a big obstacle that landed in my path. Period. Does writing about it help? It already has.

Yes, my writing has been really frustrating lately, but the consolation has been the solace I’ve had from reading: about triumph over tragedy and profound loss and the pursuit of well-being and how peaceful people focus on happiness instead of heartache. I know this much for sure: your thoughtful posts, e-mails, cards and letters in sympathy have let me feel your compassion from your own experiences with death and dying and let me know I’m not alone. Thank you so much.

Now, don’t worry about me, Dear Heart. I’m stronger than I look and really grateful for (1) Mom’s life and (2) positive influence and (3) departure from cancer. And that list is just the start. My life is opening up from this experience in miraculous ways, offering me new avenues to explore Connection and Gratitude and Passion. Don’t waste a minute worrying about my voice or my heart: I’ve turned the corner from “Yadda yadda” toward “Thank you kindly. Now, Bring It On!”

With Love & Light,

Dr Mell

Ideas are valuable, but talk without action is cheap, cheap, cheap. I’ve found good strategies for Finding FLOW that I’d like for you to consider as Actionable Intelligence—ideas that help you move from thinking about FLOW to practicing FLOW in every aspect of your flourishing life. Beyond what you’ll use to practice here, there are good print and web resources for building your FLOW repertoire, so I hope you’ll be inspired from this and stay on a vigorous search.

The state of FLOW comes naturally to us when we’re children. Imagine the face of a child completely fixated and engrossed in learning something new—walking, working a jigsaw puzzle, connecting a swinging bat to a ball. As you mature, you harness the power from your inner child and focus your conscientiousness and energy to understand more complicated systems and processes: learning the function of a human eye, the rules of traffic or the steps to balancing your checkbook. You still have the ability to harness that power and make your experience of life come alive.

In Routine Tasks

Seize the capacity to transform the routine into something that’s more meaningful and stimulating. Discover ordinary moments in your day during which you can practice Finding FLOW. In a similar way that working crossword puzzles builds your cognitive skills, using your attention and concentration in simple tasks helps you build FLOW skills. While you’re washing glassware at the sink, be aware of the warmth and texture of the dish cloth in your hand, the shape and smoothness of the glass, the movement of your fingers over every surface as you clean and rinse it thoroughly and place it gently down to dry. You’re adding value to the experience by demonstrating your conscientious attention to task and by esteeming yourself as you care for the material objects that make your life richer. In addition, you’re building the muscles required to focus your attention and fully live In the Moment.

At Work

It’s at work where people often experience the greatest amount of FLOW in their lives. The key is to seek out assignments that stimulate your intellectual interest and reasonably test your skills sets. When you’re bored or simply don’t care, you need to find more challenge at work. If you’re overly anxious, you need to find ways to gain more skill (Csikszentmihalyi, 1999). A little anxiety is actually a good motivator; too much anxiety can overwhelm your best intentions.

The research on work and attitudes is often contradictory to common wisdom. People may believe that only those lucky workers who follow a calling are happy at work, like artists, teachers or neurosurgeons, but that’s simply not true. Interviews were conducted in a study involving about 30 members of a hospital cleaning crew, and some of the interviewees revealed that they “disliked cleaning, felt that it entailed low-level skills, and did the minimum amount of work required” (Elliott & McGregor, 2001). Other members of the crew revealed that they had transformed their job into something grander and more significant, stating that they felt their work improved the lives of the patients, nurses and visitors. They reported more social interaction with the patients and others, and they built in challenges into their workday, seeking ways to finish their best cleaning quickly and to add tasks outside their normal routine that benefited others.

How can you create more FLOW at work? One FLOW opportunity for workers with some computer literacy is to expand your skills in a program with which you’re somewhat familiar or learn some basic skills in a new one. Be mindful from the beginning of the lesson to its conclusion by engaging all of your senses, paying attention to your posture, the visual cues that help you follow the lesson from step to step, your encouraging self-talk and your growing sense of accomplishment as you reach a new level of mastery. See? You can love work, too!

At Play

Researchers have unearthed interesting information about our habits at play and our ability to experience FLOW. People actually identify more FLOW states from their work experiences than from their home life. If you’ve become bored or detached at home, find FLOW at play by shaking up your tired routines. Change your work shoes to walking shoes once you’re home and go for a brisk walk: breathe the fresh air, take in the sights and sounds, swing your arms as your heart rate ticks up, feel the heel-toe-heel-toe impact of your stride on the ground. Surely, you could add FLOW at play by signing up for T’ai Chi, golf lessons or a cooking class, but a brisk walk is virtually free and provides a wonderful opportunity to experience FLOW states and improve your health and lift your state of mind. Take off and be present!

In seeking more FLOW experiences, no one suggests you disappear into complete self-absorption and renounce the world in a constant state of FLOW. The healthiest of us continue to seek balance in all things. Finding FLOW simply means being open to experiencing life, work and play with more attention—to being fully alive until the day you die.

Good Luck and Good Fortune!

Seeking a departure from a potentially boring Late-Summer Staycation? Worried you’ll end up with couch sores instead of jet lag from a Home Holiday spent bickering with “friends” on social media sites and OD’ing on carbs? Try putting the High in Hiatus like I did. I’m not talking about pursuing a chemically altered state! I spent my Staycation this summer exploring FLOW as a way toward greater well-being and moving my life and the lives of my clients toward flourishing. This blog is about the Why and How.

Early on in my research in positive psychology and the launch of my practice as The 50-Plus Life Coach, I discovered a number of scientists and practitioners who are experts on positive psychology principles, including the identification of personal character traits and values and the habits that magnify and maximize them. Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (pronounced chick-SENT-me-hi) is recognized as the most knowledgeable expert on FLOW, a state of intense absorption and involvement with the present moment–a state that people describe when “they are completely involved in something and forget themselves and forget time” (1990). Over the last decade, Dr. Csikszentmihalyi has focused on transforming everyday life into something that resembles the state of FLOW. Living everyday life in an elevated state? Now, I have your attention!

Living an elevated life, before and after 50, is about living with authenticity. After a certain number of birthdays, you know yourself—your character strengths and virtues—better than you ever have, and you insist on living a genuine, authentic life that meshes with your strengths, reflects your values and maximizes your well-being. When I feel a little lost or work with others who do, I often address the conflicted feelings that we all have about our responsibilities to other people. Men and women over 50 feel their relationships to a spouse or partner, children, grandchildren, aging parents, friends and co-workers can overwhelm them and disrupt a close connection to self, shifting their self-care priorities into negative territory. We shore up our conflicted feelings and wield our power to keep our identity separate and esteemed in personal connections and find FLOW by controlling our attention.

Control your attention and you choose the experiences that become your life, no matter how many relationships you nurture. “What you notice and what you pay attention to is your experience; it is your life” (Lyubomirsky, 2008). Here’s how Lyubomirsky reveals the Flow-Attention Connection in The How of Happiness:

Maintaining the state of flow also involves the control of your attention. If the challenge is too low and you become bored or apathetic, your attention drifts elsewhere. If the challenge is too high and you become tense or stressed, your attention shifts to yourself and your limitations, making you self-conscious. Your aim is to gain control over what you pay attention to—in a sense, to gain control over the contents of your consciousness moment by moment….in the long term it can provide a sense of mastery and participation in life (184).

In a famous interview with PBS Legend Bill Moyers, Joseph Campbell, the renowned mythologist, author and lecturer, was asked if he thought people read mythology to discover the meaning of life. Campbell responded like this: “I don’t believe people are seeking the meaning of life….I believe people are seeking the experience of being alive.” Amen and Amen.

So, there it is: “How I Spent My Summer Vacation.” There’ll be time to travel this fall when I can breathe some cool, fresh air on a well-groomed golf course. On my summer break, I’ve gained so much insight into the best practices in Flourishing and explored the Actionable Intelligence I’ve accumulated on FLOW from some of the best and brightest minds in positive psychology.

Elevate your life by controlling your attention and fully experience the feeling of being alive.

Finding the Power in Taking Notice,

Dr Mell

________________

Csikszentmihalyi, M (1990). Flow:The psychology of optimal experience. New York: Harper & Row.

Lyubomirsky, S (2008). The how of happiness: A scientific approach to getting the life you want. New York: The Penguin Press.

Thank you for the terrific response to my last blog on “Connecting.” After that posting, I’ve received several requests to share one of the best tools I’ve discovered for “Connecting to Self.” Think of the power in discovering your own motivations and fitting them in an actionable way to the quest to flourish.

I encourage you to pursue this fun and interesting discovery—the Person-Activity Fit Diagnostic—for connecting in real and dynamic ways to creating your best life.

Person-Activity Fit Diagnostic

Follow these simple instructions: Consider each of the twelve (12) happiness activities, reflecting on what it would be like to do it every week for several months. Then, rate each activity using the number range 1 through 7 using these terms: NATURAL, ENJOY, VALUE, GUILTY and SITUATION.

————————–

People do things for many different reasons. Rate why you might keep doing this activity in terms of each of the following reasons, and use this scale:

1              2              3                 4                  5               6                   7

not at all                             somewhat                                      very much

NATURAL: I’ll keep doing this activity because it will feel “natural” to me, and I’ll be able to stick with it.

ENJOY: I’ll keep doing this activity because I will enjoy doing it; I’ll find it to be interesting and challenging.

VALUE: I’ll keep doing this activity because I will value and identify with doing it; I’ll do it freely even when it’s not enjoyable.

GUILTY: I’ll keep doing this activity because I would feel ashamed, guilty or anxious if I didn’t do it; I’ll force myself.

SITUATION: I’ll keep doing this activity because somebody else will want me to or because my situation will force me to.

1. Expressing gratitude: Counting your blessings for what you have (either to a close other or privately, through contemplation or a journal) or conveying your gratitude and appreciation to one or more individuals whom you’ve never properly thanked.

___Natural    ___Enjoy       ___Value       ___Guilty       ___Situation

2. Cultivating optimism: Keeping a journal in which you imagine and write about the best possible future for yourself or practicing to look at the bright side of every situation.

___Natural    ___Enjoy       ___Value       ___Guilty       ___Situation

3. Avoiding over-thinking and social comparison: using strategies (such as distraction) to cut down on how often you dwell on your problems and compare yourself with others.

___Natural    ___Enjoy       ___Value       ___Guilty       ___Situation

4. Practicing acts of kindness: Doing good things for others, whether friends or strangers, either directly or anonymously, either spontaneously or planned.

___Natural    ___Enjoy       ___Value       ___Guilty       ___Situation

5. Nurturing relationships: Picking a relationship in need of strengthening and investing time and energy in healing, cultivating, affirming and enjoying it.

___Natural    ___Enjoy       ___Value       ___Guilty       ___Situation

6. Developing strategies for coping: Practicing ways to endure or surmount a recent stress, hardship or trauma.

___Natural    ___Enjoy       ___Value       ___Guilty       ___Situation

7. Learning to forgive: Keeping a journal or writing a letter in which you work on letting go of anger and resentment toward one or more individuals who have hurt or wronged you.

___Natural    ___Enjoy       ___Value       ___Guilty       ___Situation

8. Doing more activities that truly engage you: Increasing the number of experiences at home and work in which you “lose” yourself, which are challenging and absorbing.

___Natural    ___Enjoy       ___Value       ___Guilty       ___Situation

9. Savoring life’s joys: Paying close attention, taking delight and replaying life’s momentary pleasures and wonders, through thinking, writing, drawing or sharing with another.

___Natural    ___Enjoy       ___Value       ___Guilty       ___Situation

10. Committing to your goals: Picking one, two or three significant goals that are meaningful to you and devoting time and effort to pursuing them.

___Natural    ___Enjoy       ___Value       ___Guilty       ___Situation

11. Practicing religion and spirituality: Becoming more involved in your church, temple or mosque or reading and pondering spiritually themed books.

___Natural    ___Enjoy       ___Value       ___Guilty       ___Situation

12. Taking care of your body: Engaging in physical activity, meditating and smiling and laughing.

___Natural    ___Enjoy       ___Value       ___Guilty       ___Situation

Calculate Your “Fit” Score and Determine Your Top Four “Fit” Activities

Step 1: For each of the 12 activities, subtract the average of GUILTY and SITUATION ratings from the average of the NATURAL, ENJOY and VALUE ratings.

Here’s the equation:

FIT Score = (Natural+Enjoy+Value)/3 – (Guilty+Situation)/2

Step 2: To create your set of “Best-Fitting Activities,” write down the four activities with the highest FIT scores:

1)    ____________________

2)    ____________________

3)    ____________________

4)    ____________________

Date:  ____________________

~excerpted from Lyubomirsky (2008)

I think you’ll find The Person-Fit Activity Diagnostic so user-friendly and so thoroughly fascinating—a real opportunity for eye-opening, personal insight. If you’re prompted to reach out, I look forward to hearing from you about your experience completing and using the Person-Fit Activity Diagnostic. Yes, there are other tools at your disposal, but this is such a direct and easy approach to self-discovery. Think of it as a way of customizing your own pursuit of happiness.

Looking Within and Forward,

Dr Mell

——————————

Lyubomirsky, S (2008). The how of happiness: A scientific approach to getting the life you want. New York: Penguin Press. pgs 74-6.

 

Need another reason to value “A Connection to Self”? Experts tell us that creating a flourishing life involves matching your virtues, strengths and values to real-world exercises that impact positive change. Statistically, you’re more likely to try a new approach and to like it and stick with it if you discover before you start whether that approach is a suitable fit for you.

I suspect that it’s a surprise to many people that there are actually activities that move you toward positive change—activities that result in measurable change. If you’re one of those people who has doubts, I challenge you to investigate this assertion for yourself. Many of the scientists who do research and practice in positive psychology are listed on my FAQ page (http://www.doctormell.com/doctor-Mell-FAQ.shtml), and many books, articles and videos produced by Martin Seligman, Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ben Tal-Sharar and others are both entertaining and enlightening. Contact me directly or follow links from my site; the science is real and fascinating. If you’re already convinced, you’ll enjoy Sheldon and Elliot’s Self-Concordance Model (1999) that is a careful and thorough investigation of the links between self-knowledge, goal attainment and subjective well-being.

Once all doubt has fallen away, I encourage you to get involved yourself, and the best instrument currently available is the “Person-Activity Fit Diagnostic” survey adapted from Sheldon (Lyubomirsky, pgs 74-6). The questionnaire has only 12 items, the instructions are simple and direct, and the range of responses indicate “Natural” (“I’ll keep doing this activity because it will feel ‘natural’ to me and I’ll be able to stick with it”) to “Situation” (“I’ll keep doing this activity because somebody else will want me to or because my situation will force me to”). Easy and informative: just 12 activities for you to consider that may or may not help you practice shifting from “okay” to “flourishing.” Take this simple survey—here’s why:

The rationale behind the Person-Activity Fit Diagnostic is that a particular happiness-increasing strategy will match you better if it feels natural to you and you are truly motivated to pursue it—that is, you want to do it because you value doing it and because you find it enjoyable NOT because you feel forced or pressured into doing it, out of either guilt or a desire to please (pg 77).

Naturally, there are other tools at your disposal, but this is such a direct and powerful approach to self-discovery. The more that you “Connect to Self”—the more you know your own desires, drive and motivation—the better you become at incorporating the right change that you’ll happily pursue as you move closer to realizing your life’s dreams. Think of it as a way of customizing your own pursuit of happiness.

With high hopes and best wishes,

Dr Mell

——————————

Lyubomirsky S (2008). The how of happiness: A scientific approach to getting the life you want. New York: The Penguin Press.

Sheldon K and Elliot A (1999). Goal striving, need-satisfaction, and longitudinal wellbeing: The self-concordance model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76: 482-97.

 

In April, my blog featured a series devoted to “The Five Habits of Well-Being” from ground-breaking research done by the government in Great Britain—a massive study involving thousands of respondents—published to generate a vision for The Foresight Project through the New Economics Foundation (http://www.neweconomics.org/projects/five-ways-well-being). Many readers expressed their interest in the study and shared their personal responses to the study’s discoveries. Since then, an interesting stream of thought has bubbled up from the first strategy—CONNECT—and how it can empower The Silver Sages to realize their most-cherished dreams. The key is to expand how we define the habit of connecting.

The research study identifies five habits that people who flourish say add meaning to their lives and are expressed as action items: Connect, Be Active, Take Notice, Keep Learning and Give. The central theme from the first habit of connecting is based on reaching out to others; that is the language used in framing the study results and in offering “how-to” suggestions for people seeking greater well-being. True enough, connecting with others is both a human need and deep desire, and it offers opportunities for genuine engagement in meaningful relationships. The twist on this concept that has surfaced through comment and conversation lately, however, is about the power of connecting with self.

Here’s the paradox that makes this topic both exciting and challenging for Silver Sages: by the time you reach mid-life, your virtues, talents and strengths have been tested by time—you know who you are, what you like and dislike and what you simply won’t put up with—but you may have become disconnected from yourself because of family or social pressure or even more sinister things. Women approaching and over 50 are at risk for having put everyone else first as the family’s Nurturer-In-Chief and as the company’s or organization’s Go-To Person, giving in to real or imagined demands to make sacrifices “for the greater good.” I suspect that women are statistically at greater risk for chronic pain, depression and anxiety because they’ve become walled off from their true selves. Men at mid-life are also at risk. Think about it: for thousands of years men haven’t exactly been rewarded by civilization for being in touch with their feelings.

So, how can you benefit from connecting to self? By calling on empathy, insight and hope. When you aspire to make real and respectful connections with self, you approach every opportunity with empathy. In other words, you’re gentle with yourself, you stay positive, and you refuse to judge yourself harshly. You have real, identifiable virtues and strengths that can be uncovered and cultivated to improve your self-esteem and make your life richer. Be kind to yourself on that journey.

Insight? To me, you benefit in connecting to yourself by taking a fresh approach. Search with an open mind and an open heart to discover your true self and articulate the dreams that you still have within you. Think outside the box and imagine a life that breaks through the old limits; your life can be much bigger than you’ve lived it thus far.

And hope? Well, hope is the fuel and the engine, the impulse and the drive, that stir your imagination and lift you up and keep you moving toward Your Best Possible Future—the life for which your heart and hopes continue to yearn.

 

Seize the tremendous power from connecting with yourself and wield it to realize your dreams. And, as always, thank you for your time.

Yours truly,

Dr Mell

———————–

“Mental Capital and WellBeing” (2008). The Foresight Project. Department for Business Innovation and Skills. Great Britain: http://www.bis.gov.uk/foresight/our-work/projects/published-projects/mental-capital-and-wellbeing

 

Dr Mell_Thank You Nashville Clip

We had such a great time in Nashville last weekend. Click on my video “Thank You” for my tribute.

All the Best Always,

Dr Mell

I’m struck by the number of people I know in public and private struggles. The spring storms of 2011 have upended records kept in our country for generations that chronicle the number of lives lost, people injured and the value of property damage done to homes, farms and businesses as they—tornados, water spouts, hailstorms and thunderstorms—have left devastation in their wake. The storm damage from Alabama and Mississippi to Missouri and Massachusetts will require years of physical and financial sacrifice from residents who want to build back.

The psychological trauma experienced by storm survivors may at first seem endless, but we are resilient. The aftermath of these storms has put countless people in various states of physical and emotional healing, and my heart goes out particularly to people who’ve already weathered a lot of loss in their lives—people approaching and over 50 affected by the terrible loss.

Ironically, this group of storm victims—the 50-somethings and older—are uniquely qualified to cope well and serve as “role models of resilience” for others. Maturity and a deep sense of well-being come from facing both wonderful and difficult life experiences and cultivating a spirit that focuses on the radiant, a heart that’s strong but not hardened, and a mind determined to grasp meaning and a greater sense of accomplishment by soldiering on with hope and courage.

Two of my friends facing difficult choices are Margaret and Charlie. Their son, Chip, and I were childhood friends, so you know they’ve landed squarely in their 70s now. The home that Charlie’s father built for them decades ago—their beautiful homeplace where Margaret made her lush flowerbeds the envy of their neighborhood—was destroyed in the late April tornados in Alabama. Margaret and Charlie barely survived serious injury or worse as the timbers, flagstones, roof and walls that sheltered them for so long exploded around them in the fury from those deadly winds. Charlie chokes up when he speaks about his late father’s generosity, but his loving eyes well with tears as he recounts the anguish he felt when he clawed through the rubble for their home to get to Margaret and pull her to safety.

They’ve parented a child together, known the ups and downs of enterprise as small business owners and served as community leaders in their church and small town. They’ve lived an abundant and happy life through good times and bad, and now, they find themselves in their golden years with what anyone would say are difficult choices and heavy hearts.

Rest assured, however, that Margaret and Charlie are still hopeful and full of courage and have the most genuine comfort of their family, friends and neighbors. They are resilient, and whatever their decision—to build back where they’ve been or re-settle where the soil isn’t nearly as familiar—they’re soldiering on with the quiet confidence borne of good character and the perspective from a longer view. Charlie says, “Naturally, we’re feeling a little lost, but we have the support of so many good friends, and we’ll be fine. We’ll build back where and when we’re ready, and we’ll know when everything feels right. Thank you for your kindness.”

With our most heartfelt sympathy and respect,

Dear Margaret and Charlie,

Please know without question that we stand with you. We are deeply moved by your loss, Dear Friends, and honored to know you and are thinking of you during this tender time. Thank you for serving as a beacon of strength and well-being that lights our way. All the best to you always,

Yours truly,

Doctor Mell

One of my favorite words—a word that speaks to me on a molecular level—is Freedom. F-r-e-e-d-o-m. There are so many layers of wonderful in that word that I don’t even know where to begin. Like almost everyone in the world, I value warm, authentic connections with other people, and the love from my big family and the precious friendships I enjoy are priceless to me. Still, I love my freedom and the occasional liberation from any obligation to anyone. Sometimes I honestly feel that I need freedom like I need oxygen.

Allow me now to connect the essence of freedom to positive psychology, my life’s mission, and my own desire to flourish.

Teaching and learning have given my life meaning and purpose. When I was a little girl, I loved school, and I ultimately became an educator so that I could be at school every day. “Back to School” time each fall still thrills me like Christmas. I love everything about it: the charged atmosphere among students, parents and teachers; the excitement and promise in uncharted realms of discovery; and the tools of the trade in a new school bag filled with multi-colored pens and pencils, a sharp pair of scissors, paper clips in various sizes, and now, technology for learning—don’t get me started!

I taught at the college level for 20 years until fibromyalgia (FMS) pain and fatigue sent me home. By the time I started my “health sabbatical,” a whole coterie of doctors and I had been battling FMS for more than a decade, and now, 16 years in, I’ve found positive psychology and, from it, the power to flourish and, with it, opportunities to reach out to others for a richer, more fulfilling way of life. Let me tell you about people who struggle with one form or another of chronic pain: they are the toughest people you could ever imagine. Bette Davis once said, “Aging is not for sissies,” but I can assure you that neither is an unrelenting battle against pain.

After twelve years of living with FMS, I couldn’t get to school anymore and had to face the loss of a career I cherished, an estrangement from my students and colleagues, and the uncertainty of my future with as much courage as I could muster. For someone who needs freedom like she needs oxygen, I worried that I could spend The Second Half of my life gasping for air, and my story is not unique. Other people living with FMS and other chronic pain share very similar stories about their lives and the losses that they feel they’ve endured because of it.

So, how did I get from loss to liberty? How does anyone accomplish that? From my experience, the best, most effective way is through the revelations of positive psychology. This new focus from imminent psychology researchers and practitioners on human well-being gives all of us—those who enjoy abundant health and those who don’t—the freedom to flourish.  Positive psychology empowers my new mission and my ability to continue teaching and learning and public speaking and writing; my practice as The 50-Plus Life Coach is providing an exciting avenue for all of that. So, while we’re all respectfully listening to each others’ stories and the victories and defeats that are a part of every human life, let’s act on the best research and best practices that ensure human well-being and “walk the talk.”

I hereby seize the moment and my freedom to learn and share with others and flourish.

Yours truly,

Doctor Mell

An optimist stops helplessness. A pessimist spreads helplessness. So, what does science reveal about genetics and a person’s predisposition to see that glass half-full or half-empty? Certainly a substantial amount. But beyond genetics, what does science reveal about the part we can influence? The answer it turns out is a remarkable amount.

In the mid-1990s, Dr. David Lykken at the University of Minnesota completed ground-breaking research and published the results that explain the role of our genes in determining human perspective. The research was conducted on 4,000 sets of twins born in Minnesota between 1936 and 1955, and after compiling data on well-being among both identical and fraternal twins, the results showed that 50 percent of a person’s satisfaction with life comes from genetic programming (Wallis, 2005). The study examined genetic influence on such traits as having a sunny, easygoing personality and exhibiting the ability to cope well with stress and expressing feelings of hope and future-mindedness.

Dr. Lykken’s research went further to factor in circumstantial considerations as well, aspects that can be attributed to the slings and arrows of life such as income, marital status, religion and education. These additional factors contributed another 8 percent to a person’s overall sense of well-being. From these results, researchers and field practitioners began to refer confidently to “a set point” of sorts. Here’s what we know now: your genetic make-up and life circumstances affect about 60 percent of your overall outlook. Whether you’re essentially an optimist or a pessimist, your perception of well-being has a set point. The remarkable news for all of us and particularly for people interested in positive psychology is that those statistics leave a whopping 40 percent in our control. So what if you’ve been accused of being in the “glass half-empty” crowd? Science tells us that you have the power to turn that around and truly flourish.

You can claim control of 40 percent of your outlook—40 percent of your sense of well-being—and take action to bolster your optimism and, from that spark, create even more success. Optimism stops helplessness, and 40 percent is a big chunk of workable material to use to cultivate more daily joy and deeper and more lasting fulfillment.

Fed by this research from the University of Minnesota and many related studies, proponents of positive psychology can identify the interventions and life strategies that affect our “40 Percent” in measurable ways. Martin Seligman, Sonja Lyubomirsky, Edward Diener and many others are determined to discover the best practices that enhance the three components of well-being—getting more pleasure out of life, becoming more engaged, and finding ways of making life feel more meaningful. My aim is to continue to spread the good news, to help others “cultivate their 40 Percent,” and to join forces with others to rid the world of helplessness.

Join Us!

Doctor Mell

________________

Wallis, C et al (2005). “The new science of happiness: New research on mood and satisfaction.” TIME Magazine in collaboration with CNN News, 9 January. http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1015902-1,00.html